1. Opening speech by the class teacher.
Dear parents! The topic of our meeting is serious and difficult. Today we will talk to you about the problem of childhood aggression and manifestations of cruelty.
Today we are faced with rampant aggression and cruelty not only in society, but we also observe the propaganda of aggression and violence on television screens.
Unfortunately, these phenomena live among us, adults, and among our children. What are these phenomena and should we talk about them? You're right, it's worth it. And if so, let's look at what aggression is and how we, adults, can help children overcome it.
The age of manifestation of aggression has clearly become younger. Aggression is not only shown by adults and adolescents, as is commonly believed. Toddlers also show aggression.
What is aggression? Aggression is behavior that causes harm to an object or objects, a person or a group of people. Aggression can be manifested physically (hitting) and verbally (violating the rights of another person without physical intervention).
In psychology, there are two types of aggression: instrumental and hostile.
Instrumental aggression is manifested by a person to achieve a certain goal. It is very expressed in young children (I want to pick up a toy, object, etc.). Among the elders, i.e. In our children, hostile aggression aimed at causing pain to a person is more manifested.
Very often, aggression and its manifestation are confused with persistence and assertiveness.
- Do you think these qualities are equivalent? What will please you more in your child: persistence or aggressiveness?
Of course, persistence. This quality, in comparison with aggressiveness, has socially acceptable forms, because does not allow insults, bullying, etc.
The level of aggressiveness of children varies depending on the situation to a greater or lesser extent, but sometimes aggression takes stable forms. There are many reasons for this behavior: the child’s position in the team, the attitude of peers towards him, relationships with the teacher, etc.
The persistent aggressiveness of some children is manifested in the fact that they sometimes understand the behavior of others differently than others, interpreting it as hostile.
Boys are more prone to aggression. It is part of the male stereotype, cultivated in the family and in the media.

Inconsistency of parents in teaching children rules and norms of behavior. This method of raising children is disgusting because the children do not develop a moral core of behavior: today it is convenient for parents to say one thing, and they impose this line of behavior on the children, tomorrow it is convenient for them to say something else, and this other thing is again imposed on the children. This leads to confusion, anger, and aggression against parents and other people.
One of the main conditions for preventing aggressive behavior in children is the demands of parents in relation to themselves and in relation to their own child. A parent who is demanding of himself will never allow him to demand from his child something that he himself does not have in his child. First of all, a parent who is demanding of himself is able to analyze the methods of his upbringing and adjust them taking into account the current situation.
However, parents must remember that demandingness is not tyranny. Tyranny begets tyranny. Demands should be reasonable and benevolent.
Very often, children's aggressiveness is associated precisely with the fact that parents make unreasonable and meaningless demands, while absolutely not showing friendliness and support. You should not give in to whims and make concessions unnecessarily.
For example, today is “light” lessons, you don’t have to go to school, I’ll write a note to the teacher saying you’re not feeling well. The parents of this child should not be surprised if in a couple of years he himself writes a note to the teacher and signs for his father or mother.
The demands placed on the child must be reasonable. While being demanding, it is necessary to take into account the circumstances, the physical and mental state of the child.
Demandingness is justified when feasible tasks are put forward to the child and feasible assistance is provided in solving them, otherwise it is simply meaningless. Even the most fair and simple demand, if it is not explained and expressed in a despotic form, will cause resistance from any child, even the most flexible one. The only difference is that a flexible child will express his protest covertly, while a child who is not very flexible will express it openly. It is better to express requirements for younger schoolchildren in a fun way.
In their methods of education, in their demands on the child, parents must be consistent and united. As soon as secrets from each other settle in a family, the trust of parents in each other in raising a child disappears, this gives the child the opportunity to maneuver between parents, blackmail them, lie to them.
If this can be done for a long time, and then a ban is imposed, this leads to aggressiveness on the part of the child.
In education, two pairs of important signs can be distinguished that have a positive or negative effect on the formation of child aggressiveness: favor and rejection.
How is location characterized and how does it affect overcoming aggressiveness? The family helps the child:
a) overcome difficulties;
b) uses the ability to listen to a child in his arsenal;
c) includes warmth, a kind word, and an affectionate look in communication.
Rejection, on the contrary, stimulates children's aggressiveness. It is characterized by indifference, withdrawal from communication, intolerance and authority, hostility to the fact of the child’s existence. Rejection of the child leads to the manifestation of such a disease as pediatric hospitalism. What it is? Loneliness, lack of desire to communicate with loved ones, lack of traditions, customs, and laws in the family.

Literature
1. Kolyada M.G. Cheat sheet for parents. Donetsk, 1998.

2. Practical psychology: Educational and methodological manual. Minsk. 1977.

3. Gorbunova N.A. Parent meetings in elementary school. Volgograd 2003

4. Derekleeva N.I. New parent meetings for grades 1-4. M.: “VAKO”, 2008 4. The aggressiveness of the family leads to aggressive manifestations in the child’s behavior.

the child is beaten;
the child is being bullied
they joke about the child;
the child is made to feel a sense of undeserved shame;
parents deliberately lie;
parents drink and get into trouble;
parents raise their child with double morals;
parents are undemanding and unauthoritative for their child;
parents do not know how to love their children equally;
parents do not trust the child;
parents pit their child against each other;
parents do not communicate or communicate little with their child;
entrance to the house is closed to the child’s friends;
parents show petty care and concern to the child;
parents live their own lives, the child feels that he is not loved.

Natalia Sedelnikova
Parent meeting “Children’s Aggression”

Good evening, dear parents!

We would like to devote our meeting to talking about the problem of children's aggressiveness. And this conversation is not accidental. Today we are faced with rampant aggression not only in society, but we also observe the propaganda of aggression and violence from TV and computer screens. There is so much negativity in the modern world. And all this is often directly reflected in children. Intractable, impatient, aggressive, they become hostages of the conditions in which they grow and develop.

What is this connected with, how to deal with manifestations of childhood aggressiveness? Let's try to discuss these issues. To begin with, it is important to know that aggression is a behavioral disorder in a child, and not a symptom of a mental illness. It must be remembered that some difficulties in children’s behavior are age-related and are associated with experiencing one of the developmental crises (1 year, 3 and 7 years). And these periods in a child’s life, despite all the complexity, indicate the normal course of the process of mental development of a preschooler.

Aggressiveness is behavior that causes harm to an object, person or group of people.

Types of aggressive behavior by form of manifestation:

1. physical aggression (attack)– the use of physical force against another person or object

2. verbal aggression– expression of negative feelings both through form (quarrel, screaming, screeching, and through the content of verbal reactions (threat, curses, swearing);

3. Objective aggression– takes out his aggressiveness on surrounding objects.

Aggression is also expressed directly and indirectly:

direct aggression– directly directed against any object or subject

indirect aggression– actions that are indirectly directed at another person (malicious gossip, jokes, and actions characterized by lack of direction and disorder (outbursts of rage manifested in shouting, stomping, beating the table with fists)

Causes of aggressive behavior a child may have different:

Scandals in the family

Use of physical force during family quarrels (fights)

Rough and cruel treatment of a child

Involving him in attending (watching) brutal sports competitions: boxing, fights without rules, etc.

Watching action films and scenes of violence in both feature and animated films

Approval of aggressive behavior as a way to resolve a conflict or problem: “You hit him too,” “You break him too,” “Can’t you take it away!”

Family upbringing plays a huge role in the development of certain qualities of a child, from the first days of a child’s life.

The behavior of parents with the child and with each other is the very first and most significant example for the child. Often, in anger, a child can respond to an adult with his own words and actions.

Characteristic features of a child’s aggressive behavior.

Refuses to play collectively.

Does not understand the feelings and experiences of other children.

Often quarrels with adults.

Creates conflict situations.

Shifts the blame to others.

Fussy.

Cannot adequately evaluate his behavior.

Has muscle tension.

Often specifically irritates adults.

Sleeps little and restlessly

We suggest determining the degree of aggressiveness of your child.

QUESTIONNAIRE for parents “How aggressive is your child?”

Criteria for assessing a child’s aggressiveness

1. At times it seems that he has been possessed by an evil spirit.

2. He cannot remain silent when he is dissatisfied with something.

3. When someone harms him, he always tries to repay, to give back to the offender.

4. Sometimes he feels like cursing for no reason.

5. It happens that he breaks toys with pleasure, breaks something, guts it.

6. Sometimes he insists on something so much that others lose patience.

7. He doesn't mind teasing animals.

8. It’s difficult to argue with him.

9. He gets very angry when he thinks that someone is making fun of him.

10. Sometimes he has a desire to do something bad, shocking others

11. In response to ordinary orders, he strives to do the opposite.

12. Often grouchy beyond his age.

13. Refuses to follow rules.

14. Likes to be the first, to command, to subjugate others.

15. Failures cause him great irritation and a desire to find someone to blame.

16. Easily quarrels and gets into fights.

17. Does not understand the feelings and experiences of other children.

18. Often deliberately irritates adults, argues, swears with adults.

19. Does not consider peers, does not yield, does not share.

20. Excessively mobile.

A positive answer to each proposed statement is scored 1 point.

RESULTS:

High aggressiveness - 15-20 points.

Average aggressiveness - 7-14 points.

Low aggressiveness - 1-6 points.

Means of preventing and overcoming aggressive behavior in children.

How can you vent your anger? There are many ways...

1. Sing your favorite song loudly.

2. Blow bubbles.

3. Water the flowers.

4. Throw the ball against the wall.

5. Rub plasticine into cardboard or paper

7. Water removes aggressiveness well. Have water games.

Aggressive children have high levels of muscle tension. It is especially high in the arms, face, neck, shoulders, chest and abdomen. Such children need muscle relaxation. Relaxation exercises are best done with calm music. This makes the child calmer, more balanced, and also allows the child to better understand and realize the feeling of his own anger. An example would be the following exercises.

Blow out the candle

Take a deep breath, drawing as much air into your lungs as possible. Then, stretching out your lips with a tube, slowly exhale, as if blowing on a candle, while pronouncing the sound “u” for a long time.

Lazy kitty

Raise your arms up, then stretch them forward, stretching like a cat. Feel the body stretch. Then sharply lower your hands down, pronouncing the sound “a”.

Mill.

Children describe large circles with their hands, making forward and upward swinging movements. After an energetic push, the arms and shoulders are freed from all tension, fly freely, describe a circle and fall passively. The movements are performed several times in a row at a fairly fast pace. Make sure that children do not develop tension in their shoulders, which interferes with the correct circular movement in their hands.

Games for aggressive children

“HOUR OF SILENCE” AND HOUR “POSSIBLE”

Agree with your child that sometimes, when you are tired and want to rest, there will be an hour of silence in the house. The child should behave quietly, play calmly, draw, and design. But sometimes you will have an “okay” hour, when the child is allowed to do almost everything: jump, scream, take mom’s outfits and dad’s instruments, hug parents and hang on them, etc.

LITTLE GHOST

TARGET: Learn to release pent-up anger

Guys, now you and I will play the role of good little ghosts. We wanted to misbehave a little and scare each other a little. When I clap, you will make this movement with your hands (raise your arms bent at the elbows, spread your fingers) and pronounce the sound “U” in a scary voice; if I clap quietly, you will quietly pronounce “U”, if loudly, loudly. But remember that we are kind ghosts and want to joke a little.

"Tender Paws"

Target: relieving tension, reducing aggressiveness, developing sensory perception. An adult selects 6-7 small objects of various textures: a piece of fur, a brush, a glass bottle, beads, cotton wool, etc. All this is laid out on the table. The child is asked to bare his arm up to the elbow; The teacher explains that an “animal” will walk along your hand and touch you with its affectionate paws. You need to guess with your eyes closed which “animal” touched your hand - guess the object. Touches should be stroking and pleasant. 4.

Scraps in the nooks and crannies.

Plain paper will help your child cope with unmotivated aggression and other consequences of nervous overstrain. Invite your child to tear the album sheet into small pieces, then another one. Now give the baby a piece of cardboard. It is quite possible that, having completed this task, the child, without noticing it, will calm down. It's time to invite your child to play with the cleaning machine and collect the results of his activities in a bag or bucket. You can arrange a competition by dividing the littered area into sections; the winner is the one who cleaned their territory cleaner and faster.

"Talking to Hands"

Target: teach children to control their actions.

If a child gets into a fight, breaks something, or hurts someone, you can offer him the following game: trace the silhouette of your palms on a piece of paper. Then invite him to animate his palms - draw eyes, a mouth, and color his fingers with colored pencils. After this, you can start a conversation with your hands.

Game "Magic bag"

Target: removal of negative emotional states, verbal aggression.

If there is a child in your group who shows verbal aggression (often calling other children names), invite him before entering the group to go to a corner and leave all the “bad” words in a magic bag (a small bag with drawstrings). You can even shout into the bag. After that When the child speaks out, tie the bag with him and hide it.

"CAM"

Give your child some small toy or candy and ask him to clench his fist tightly. Let him keep his fist clenched, and when he opens it, his hand will relax, and there will be a beautiful toy on his palm.

Exercise helps to shift aggression and muscle relaxation.

Our next meeting is coming to an end. I would like it to be useful for you, to provoke thought and a desire to build relationships in your family in a new way. Listen "golden" rules of education which I hope will help you in raising your child:

1. Learn to listen and hear your child.

2. Try to make sure that only you relieve his emotional stress.

3. Do not prohibit children from expressing negative emotions.

4. Know how to accept and love him for who he is.

5. The aggressiveness of the family leads to aggressive behavior in the child.

We also want to offer you reminders that indicate points that will help you eliminate aggression in your child.

Memo for parents

Do not give your child unrealistic promises, do not fill his soul with unrealistic hopes.

Do not put any conditions on your child.

Be tactful in taking measures to influence the child.

Don't punish your child for what you allow yourself to do.

Do not change your requirements for your child for the sake of anything.

Do not blackmail your child with your relationship with each other.

Don't make your relationship with your child dependent on his success.

Remember that a child is an embodied opportunity! Take advantage of it so that this opportunity is fully realized!

Children's aggression - how to avoid it

(discussion, psychological workshop)

Goals: introduce parents to the reasons that cause aggression in children; teach how to react correctly to aggressive actions, reduce tension in relationships with children.

Invited specialists: school psychologist.

Progress of the meeting

1. Opening speech by the class teacher.

The problem of aggression and violence is one of the most pressing problems of modern society. Children watch scenes of violence every day on television and computer monitors. It is not surprising that we increasingly complain about the increased aggressiveness and irritability of our children. If such problems arise, first of all you need to contact a psychologist with inquiries about the choice of means of pedagogical influence on such a child. But, unfortunately, most of us don't do this. A psychologist is simply unable to give advice to every parent at a meeting now. After all, families are all different, and children are all different.

Therefore, during our meeting, we will try to learn how to identify the first signs of aggressive behavior and errors in upbringing, so that in adolescence we do not develop advanced forms and develop general principles of our behavior with aggressive children.

1. Report from a school psychologist on the theoretical aspects of the problem of aggression in children.

There is no clear definition of childhood aggressiveness. Most often, this concept refers to a child’s state in which he strives to get what he wants by force, or uses force to respond to a threat to well-being. It can be assumed that by resorting to aggressive behavior, children fight for their psychological and sometimes physical survival and, growing up, with their antisocial behavior they take revenge on this world for not accepting them, not loving them, not understanding them.

According to experts, aggressive actions usually occur in children as:

− means of achieving some significant goal (instrumental aggression);

− a method of mental release, replacement, satisfaction of blocked needs and switching activities;

− a way to satisfy the need for self-realization and self-affirmation.

The most common manifestations of aggression in childhood are stubbornness, pugnacity, attacks of anger, rage, indignation, desire to offend, humiliate, insult, authority, bewilderment to understand the interests of another, inflated self-esteem, and destructive actions.

What can provoke aggressive behavior in children? Experts believe that the presence of the following psychological characteristics in a child can lead to aggression:

− insufficient development of intelligence and communication skills;

− reduced level of self-regulation;

− underdevelopment of gaming activities;

− reduced self-esteem;

− violations in relationships with peers.

American psychologist M. Rutter, a specialist in working with difficult children, has established a close connection in children between behavioral disorders and serious delays in mastering school knowledge. Among boys with an antisocial orientation, about a third have a specific reading delay, the causes of which are related to the reasons for the manifestation of aggression: these are temperamental features that contribute to the occurrence of behavioral disorders, an unfavorable situation in the family, the very fact of failure in school education, as a result of which disappointment and resentment arise, which can lead to protest, aggression, antisocial behavior.

Is it possible to change anything in the behavior of a 10-12 year old child, even if all of the above reasons causing aggression are present? It is possible and necessary. A correctly chosen style of relationship between the teacher and parents will help correct the student’s behavior.

There are different correction methods. For example, the Russian doctor and teacher V.P. Kashchenko proposed a method of ignoring in relation to children who most often show verbal aggression.

And in foreign studies (Baron R.), the hypothesis of incompatible reactions was put forward, according to which feelings incompatible with anger and aggression can be evoked in children. This is first of all:

− feeling of empathy, empathy. Empathy that arises from the sight of the victim’s pain and suffering can be effective in reducing the level of open aggression in children who are in an irritated state and are not very confident in the correctness of their actions;

− humor and laughter (“You look cooler than Schwarzenegger now”).

In addition, you can also reduce the level of open aggression by creating conditions for emotional release.

You can also use the method of “stroking” the provoked aggressor, which will cause in him positive states and reactions that are incompatible with anger and aggression. Psychologists suggest using apologies, admissions of guilt, compliments, modest but unexpected gifts, friendly humor, and unobtrusive praise as such “strokes.”

At the moment of a particularly intense aggressive state of a child, the following techniques can be used:

− ask the child to smile, breathe deeply, normalize breathing, straighten his shoulders, relax, push up from the floor;

− invite the child to redirect aggression to an inanimate object or action (crumple or tear paper into shreds, stomp your feet, shout loudly using a “pipe” from whatman paper, hit a punching bag, etc.);

− switch attention to some task (“Help me, please, take it off the shelf...”);

- you can also ask the child to remember something pleasant, invite him to mentally find himself in a pleasant place, say kind words to himself, and find positive aspects in what happened.

Let's try to play some situations. But first, let’s determine what goal each of you strives for in raising a child.

1. Patterns of child behavior.

Ideal model.

The child comes home at two o'clock. Two minutes to change clothes (clothes are carefully folded in the closet). Next he cleans his room. After this, the daughter or son goes to the store for bread, milk, etc. Well, now it’s time to prepare lessons: the child studies mathematics and literature for one and a half to two hours. And then he goes to the kitchen to peel potatoes, puts on the kettle, and sets the table. Over dinner, your child shares his impressions with you and asks you about your work.

Medium model.

Your child is with a friend. Sticks in hands. The stick rattles along the lattice fence. When they get tired of “shooting”, they put a briefcase or backpack on a stick and spin it - and the bag flies into the bushes. The friends sat on a bench and talked about dogs, cars, and football. At three o'clock the son came home and sat down in front of the TV screen. Then he spoke on the phone with friends. Then a friend came to him. The music is turned on at full blast. Neighbors are knocking from all sides. Six o'clock pm. The son realizes: the room is not cleaned, he has not eaten. He quickly sits down to his homework, having first turned on the TV. Parents arrive. The mother looks in the refrigerator: the porridge is not heated, the kefir has not been drunk. “Hungry, probably. Now I’ll quickly feed you. Why didn’t you change your clothes?”

Negative model.

You constantly ask yourself questions: “Where is he now? With whom? Leshka must have come again? Yesterday they called me to school: I stopped teaching lessons. Arrived late, clothes were dirty. My father grabbed the belt and said, “If you hit me, I’ll leave the house.”

So, here are three models. What is your relationship with your child based on? What model did you have in reality? What should you do to ensure that relationships are built in each of the proposed models? (Parents' answers.)

Conclusions. If you strive for the “ideal model,” think about how to increase the load on the child’s intellectual and physical development.

If your relationship is developing in the direction of the average model, try, at least for the first time, to organize the child’s life so that he has less idle time. Consider basing good feelings on the child's good deeds. Only the coincidence of useful activities with a kind attitude towards people can bring us closer to the ideal model of education.

If your relationship has developed into a negative pattern, it is necessary to establish an accurate diagnosis of your child’s illness. Treat him exactly like a seriously ill patient. After all, patients are not scolded, much less beaten. They are treated patiently and for a long time. Until health comes.

III. Psychological workshop.

SCHOOL PSYCHOLOGIST Let us look at several typical situations.

First situation.

This story was shared by a teacher at one of the schools. Here's what she says.

“From the very beginning of my teaching practice, I paid attention to Kolya. He could sit under his desk for the whole lesson, making his comrades laugh, trying to shout something while explaining new material. Nikolai was a weak student; he had bad grades in mathematics in the quarter. Kolya lived very far from school; none of his classmates were nearby. Mother and father work, but father often drinks. The mother has a hard time: doing everything at work and at home, raising two children - Kolya and the youngest Seryozha. Kolya helps his mother in everything. He loves her and does not like his father because he drinks and often offends his mother. At school, the boy heard only one thing - bad, incorrigible? and he sank more and more: he began to be rude, disrupted lessons, he seemed to take revenge on those who were hostile to him.”

Issues for discussion:

As you can see, the child’s aggressive behavior is evident.

– Why did a negative pattern of child behavior develop in this case?

– What should parents and teachers do to correct the mistakes in Kolya’s upbringing?

Discussion of the situation by parents, development of techniques to relieve the child’s aggressive state.

Second situation.

A real disaster began at our school: every day glass was breaking in many parts of the school. It seemed that someone was deliberately doing what they were doing to break them up. One day, the teacher noticed that Vitalik was enthusiastically throwing pebbles at the window panes and enjoying the successful hits and the sound of broken glass. She quickly walked up to him, took him by the hand and said triumphantly: “So I caught you at the crime scene. What can you say in your defense? Let's draw up an act where we record all the broken glass. Why are you breaking glass?

“I’m no worse than anyone,” Vitalik exclaimed with pain and bitterness. “Why do you think I’m the worst?”

Issues for discussion:

– What do you think caused the child’s aggressive behavior in this case?

– How would you react to this child’s action?

– What do you think the teacher did to ensure that this situation was resolved successfully?

Third situation.

In the second and third grades, Sasha studied well. But he was unbalanced, unrestrained, and overly touchy. The class teacher had to keep him under control and involve him in interesting activities. But in the fourth grade the class teacher changed, who did not pay attention to Sasha. Sasha’s mother, a single woman, had previously paid little attention to her son and often insulted him. And when Sasha was in fourth grade, she got married. The boy did not like this, he began to study worse, began to be rude, and once even ran away from home. The question arose about his registration in a boarding school.

– What needs to be done to change the situation for the better?

Fourth situation.

You are washing the floors, and your child is sitting in a chair and “shooting” balls made from newspaper in your direction. What will you do?

Fifth situation. Your child's performance has suddenly dropped sharply. And so he came home with another deuce. What will you do in this case?

1. Group discussion.

School psychologist. Tell us about your problematic situations in which you do not know what to do, and we will all discuss them together and try to find the right solution.

Parents discuss their problems with a psychologist.

1. Closing remarks from the class teacher.

Summarizing everything that you heard today, we can say that it is possible to live with an aggressive child without reaching a critical situation. It is only necessary to constantly remember and apply the rules of emergency intervention, which provide a constructive impact on the aggressive reactions of children. Let's repeat them again:

1. Calm attitude, ignoring minor aggression(called graceful care). Puzzle the “aggressor” by unexpectedly agreeing with him or changing the topic. Respond as if the child's words were harmless, insignificant, or obvious.
2. Focusing on actions (behavior), rather than on the child’s personality.(“You are a well-mannered person, but now you are behaving aggressively.”)
3. Controlling your own negative emotions.
4. Reduce the tension of the situation. You cannot react with words and actions of an intimidating nature, angry intonation (“It will be as I say, understand?”, “You again,” etc.)
5. Discussion of misconduct after the parties have calmed down. It is important to maintain a calm, objective position and focus on the negative consequences for others and the child himself.
6. Maintaining a child's positive reputation. The worst thing for a child is public condemnation and negative evaluation. You can maintain a positive reputation by publicly minimizing the child’s guilt (“You didn’t mean to offend him”), offering a compromise and not demanding a full lesson.
7. Demonstration of a model of non-aggressive behavior. An alternative to aggressive behavior in an adult can be built using the following techniques: pause, silently listen to the child with interest, clarify the situation with leading questions, recognize his interests and tell him yours.

Follow all these rules and the “weather” in your home will become much calmer. I wish you success!